I never know what to put in here when I start out. It's best to start at the beginning, right? So here I go.
I've been a - well I don't want to say "Fan" but maybe participant of social/dating websites since my divorce and found them to be sometimes trying and most times unfruitful. Meaning, that for the most part I found people to be superficial. Superficial in that their agenda didn't meet mine. Ok I do have to admit it was fun when I started and it was different. Meeting men in my local vicinity, well I'm not impressed. It doesn't help the fact that I worked in the local police department both in the records section and then I did a year in dispatch. And the bar scene, well it literally sucks. So it was the internet or nothing.
I can say I did enjoy some of the friendships that were developed so it wasn't all bad, and there were several sites that I did visit. It just so happened that on the day I came home from my surgery, I did have a conversation with this guy who called himself "Elmo". And we have been chatting/emailing since. He is a very private person and though I have known him now for almost 4 years now. Amazingly this relationship still grows more and more daily. We always tell each other that we love each other. There is a bond there that can't be denied. Though he's not here physically, mentally he is everyday of every moment. We understand that there is distance between us and we both have agreed to keep our options open. He had a really tough divorce when his wife left him for a woman. I like to think I have helped him renew his faith and learn to love again. We are best friends! He knows more about me than most people and I can open up to him and he's there for me.
I bet you are wondering how is it possible not to meet this guy in person. Like I said he's a very private person. In fact I didn't learn his children's names until this last year. He's also a very devoted father. Because of his previous wife abandoning his children, he wants to protect them from that happening again. He says that he will retire in about 3 years and if we are still wanting to meet up - we will.
Looking at this relationship as it stands, I feel this is the best way for me to get to know him. Just because we aren't in a physical space doesn't mean that you can't bond. I probably know more about him than alot of his personal friends. Yes, we don't spend every day, of every minute together - but I do spend hours upon hours with him during the week. He's handsome, funny, responsible, the life of the party, respectful, and never without a word to say. Once in a while he will go out on a "date" but I believe him that nothing has happened. He always tells me that he has no reason to lie. And there have been times where he has told me the truth and it has hurt, but for some reason I can't get mad for him telling me the truth. There was a time - it about a couple of months into our friendship where he said he was going to date someone and wouldn't be able to chat with me. I didn't have a problem with it but I did have a hard time with it. I missed him so much - but I never reached out to him, emailed him or anything. I felt this was his decision and I was going to live with it. About 2 months later - he reached out to me. I was never so happy in my life!!! My best friend was back.
As I have said we are both open to dating other people. I've always told him I didn't want him to stop living because of the circumstances of us not being able to meet yet. I have honestly tried but it's really hard when you compare men to him. I look for the immediate spark and there isn't any. And then I find men don't know how to talk to women. And some of the men will set up a date and then all of a sudden they have an emergency. Whatever.
I don't know what will happen when we do meet but I do know that we have a bond that is unbreakable. It's been going strong for almost 4 years and I'm sure the next 3 years will only make us stronger. There's a quote that states if he doesn't make you his priority then you shouldn't be his option. Normally I would be all for that but there are exceptions. Because of the circumstance with his divorce, leaving him to raise 3 children, and then protecting them from feeling abandoned once again - this would be an exception. He does make me feel beautiful (he tells me this all the time), worthy, and special. Isn't that what love is about? I stroke his ego, he strokes mine. We share our dreams and goals and if we should meet, what a day that will be. I have do have to be careful because what if something should happen? He always tells me he wants me to meet someone that will make me happy. It hasn't happened yet and I don't know if it will. Patty Stanger (Millionaire Matchmaker) states in order to find love you have to make it your priority. It's kind of hard when you live in the middle of nowhere and there isn't a whole lot going on.
So as we (Ron and I) continue to bond and grow - only time will tell.
